Avoiding the Comparison Trap

Katie Corbett holds the book "You are a Badass"

By Katie Corbett

 

Comparing yourself to others is a fruitless exercise that can leave you feeling discouraged. It can remind you that you aren’t where you want to be, make you feel like you aren’t good at the things you are trying to do, and lessen the sense of accomplishment you feel about the things that are going well in your life. I’m guilty of comparing myself to others, and I decided that I wanted to make a change so that I could be happier about my life and more confident in doing the things I wanted to achieve.

 

In “You Are A Badass,” Jen Sincero calls it the Comparison Trap. Thinking of comparison as something bad to avoid, rather than as a character flaw, is helping me change my mindset. Here are some ways I avoid comparing myself to others.

 

  • I think about what I’m grateful for rather than focusing on what I don’t have.
  • I plan fun things to do to take my mind off any lack of success I might be experiencing.
  • I contemplate what it is that I want when I’m comparing myself to others, because the need to compare might be coming out of a sense of desiring a specific trait or outcome.
  • I focus on my own goals, growth and development, rather than thinking about what others are achieving.
  • When I do catch myself comparing, I think about how glad I am that this person is in my life so that I know what is possible.

 

Remember that changing your mindset takes time. It can’t be done overnight, and it happens one thought at a time. Be patient with yourself and give yourself grace for the times you slip up and find yourself comparing.

 

Do you fall into the comparison trap? What helps you avoid comparing yourself to others? What mindset shifts do you find beneficial? Let me know in the comments.

 

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Trust That Your New Life Is Already Here

Katie Corbett holds the book "You are a Badass"

By Katie Corbett

 

I once went to a career workshop where we were asked to picture our ideal day. I was looking at making some pretty significant changes in my life and was invigorated by this exercise. It turns out that drilling down to what you really want can help you realize that your dreams are within reach. It is also possible that, as I did, you can figure out what needs to change to truly get yourself the life and career you hope for, and you might not need to change as many things as you might think at first.

 

In “You Are A Badass,” Jen Sincero says that your ideal life is already right in front of you. I kept this in mind as I pictured my ideal day. Here are the things I wanted to be a part of that day.

 

  • Drinking tea
  • Learning new things
  • Hanging out with friends
  • Solar cooking
  • Reading for pleasure
  • Playing instruments
  • Spending time outdoors
  • Finishing crafting projects
  • Having a rich prayer life
  • Working out

 

The organizers asked us to think about how to incorporate what we want in the future into our lives as they were at the present time. I made sure to do each of these activities every day. I found that this increased my happiness overall. If I could have all these things, then why couldn’t I also have the job I desired?

 

I encourage you to make a list of what you would do in your ideal day. What can you start incorporating now, even before your dream is fully realized?

 

I’d love to hear how it goes for you. Let me know in the comments.

 

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You Are A Victim of the Rules You Live By

Katie Corbett holds the book "You are a Badass"

By Katie Corbett

 

Whether it is true or not, we make decisions based on assumptions we make and ideas we impose on ourselves. These rules can keep us from enjoying life and achieving at our highest potential.

 

This became apparent to me when I read, “You Are A badass,” by Jen Sincero. I decided to take some time and look at what rules I live by that hold me back. here’s what I discovered.

 

I catch myself thinking that networking takes a long time. The truth is that if you network efficiently and stay organized, it only need take five minutes a day.

 

I sometimes think that by reaching out to people, I am bothering them. Experience has taught me, though, that if I approach conversations with friendliness and a desire to get to know the other, nobody seems to mind.

 

I used to catch myself thinking that people don’t want to hear from me. I’ve realized that if I reach out and someone doesn’t want to hear from me, they won’t respond, and those who do want to connect with me will be happy to talk.

 

I sometimes think that I don’t know how to be curious. Asking questions is important to me, so I try to fall back on what I learned in journalism school to come up with good questions.

 

As you can see, changing these beliefs and ideas takes time and effort. Putting in this time and effort has paid off so far, and I plan to continue to do this important work.

 

Are you living by a rule that is holding you back? How are you working to change this? I’d love to know, so drop me a comment.

 

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