By Katie Corbett
Knowing I have the tendency to put the desires of others over my own as a people-pleaser has helped me evaluate the people in my life. I have learned to prioritize those in my life who respect me when I say no, encourage me to stand up for myself and let me know when I might be taken advantage of or am compromising my values.
In “Do It Scared”, the author, Ruth Soukup, talks about finding ways to say no. Here are some ways I have found helpful:
• Say no in writing so you have time to word your message just right.
• Ask the person to follow up with you at a later time if you feel more time will help you decide.
• Recommend someone else for the job or opportunity.
• Remember to thank the person for taking the time to ask you.
• Script your reply so you can repeat it if necessary, and speak with confidence.
Learning to say no takes practice. Recently, I was being recruited pretty heavily for a multi-level marketing company. I asked some friends about it to see if they had heard of it and made the decision that I wasn’t interested. (I don’t find anything wrong with multi-level marketing companies; they’re just not a good fit for where I’m at in my life right now.) I emailed my contact and let her know that I would not be signing up. I was nervous at first, but after I said a firm no, the decision was made and I didn’t have to think about it again.
I’m not sure what the future will hold in terms of opportunities. I do know that when great opportunities come around, I’ll have the space in my life to make the most of them since I won’t be in the midst of an opportunity that isn’t right for me.
What do you find helpful in terms of establishing boundaries and saying no? I’d love to learn, so drop it in the comments on this post.
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